by Soft Surprise

Hairy Tube (Savory)

$20.00
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HAIRY TUBE (SAVORY)

READY TO SHIP

Upon first glance, one may think these vibrant soft sculptures are based on a "popular" "puffed" "cheesy" "snack" but with closer inspection, one may come to realize they are in fact based on the human body. 

What does one DO with a hairy tube you ask? Here are some unsanctioned suggestions:
put it in your shirt to confuse predators about your true silhouette, scrub your dirty dishes, wear it like a loin cloth, pretend you need "lumbar" support, gently tickle your crush, symbolically protect grandpa's urn from enemies, toss it around with the boys after some cold ones, wear it like a headband, zip tie it to your toilet seat for comfort and support, sing to it like it's a baby, wow so many options, my mind is racing! As always DO WHATEVER YOU WANT I'M NOT YOUR LEGAL GUARDIAN!

 

Outer Shell Material: mixed vegan fiber (scum of the earth plastic that will actually take 400 years to disintegrate)

Filling: polyfil

Measurements: length ~18in / width ~4in

Care: If dirty, spot clean with cold water & air dry.

 

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ABOUT SOFT SURPRISE

Here at Soft Surprise, we offer the best novelty garbage money can buy. We just might have that perfect somethin' somethin' to "impress" your friends AND family. Our goods proudly reflect a timeless grandma aesthetic and D.I.WHY ethos. Finally, your wallet CAN afford you: popularity, approval, and possibly even...love❤️️

Our soft goods are made with passion and care. Every item is 100% handcrafted, allow for slight variances in color, size, shape etc.

All work and images © Soft Surprise, LLC 2020, All rights reserved

 

Description

HAIRY TUBE (SAVORY)

READY TO SHIP

Upon first glance, one may think these vibrant soft sculptures are based on a "popular" "puffed" "cheesy" "snack" but with closer inspection, one may come to realize they are in fact based on the human body. 

What does one DO with a hairy tube you ask? Here are some unsanctioned suggestions:
put it in your shirt to confuse predators about your true silhouette, scrub your dirty dishes, wear it like a loin cloth, pretend you need "lumbar" support, gently tickle your crush, symbolically protect grandpa's urn from enemies, toss it around with the boys after some cold ones, wear it like a headband, zip tie it to your toilet seat for comfort and support, sing to it like it's a baby, wow so many options, my mind is racing! As always DO WHATEVER YOU WANT I'M NOT YOUR LEGAL GUARDIAN!

 

Outer Shell Material: mixed vegan fiber (scum of the earth plastic that will actually take 400 years to disintegrate)

Filling: polyfil

Measurements: length ~18in / width ~4in

Care: If dirty, spot clean with cold water & air dry.

 

--------------------------------

ABOUT SOFT SURPRISE

Here at Soft Surprise, we offer the best novelty garbage money can buy. We just might have that perfect somethin' somethin' to "impress" your friends AND family. Our goods proudly reflect a timeless grandma aesthetic and D.I.WHY ethos. Finally, your wallet CAN afford you: popularity, approval, and possibly even...love❤️️

Our soft goods are made with passion and care. Every item is 100% handcrafted, allow for slight variances in color, size, shape etc.

All work and images © Soft Surprise, LLC 2020, All rights reserved